The Feelings

I wasn't love with her, but still everything end up with her name. I was chatting with my friend's but it end up with talking about you. I was flirting with girls but it end up in opening our chats.

When ever I sees your name in my chat list my heart filled with a heavy heart filled with untold things and pain. You make me happy like none but still I wasn't able to share my feelings with you . I still don't know " what happened between us! "
" Why we stop taking? " ...

Still whenever I open the app my eyes searches for one name and that is you... But I know , there wouldn't be any !! I don't know why I still can't stop thinking about YOU ! ! ! and sometimes I wonder are you feeling the same ? Have you ever missed me ????

The Questions!!

She was there , in a bench ... She knew that , its her last days in there .. She looked all around . all were busy with their study's , call's, talks .. None knew the thing which were in her mind .

Will they miss me?
What my seniors will say?
What my new friends gonna think ? - she thought

There were thousands of questions in her mind and answer for all was "Let's see"

Its hard when you make new friends, new enemies , sisterhood's and once so suddenly you have to leave the place forever ... Its big question "What will happen next"

The time when we are stuck in between the Past and the future and  you don't have any idea about your current ! Whether to smile and enjoy , or whether to study hard and make an impression or whether to give up and sit like the a loser ..  Decision is easy but doing isn't....

SARA

Sara...I met her for first time, when Sid took me to his house. It was the first time I was been to his house.

I sat on the sofa while Sid went in and made a drink for me.
“Here you go.” Sid said while handing over the glass of mango juice.
"Wow. Cooking and all haaa!" I took a small sip and smiled at him.
“Saraa? Where are you?”  Sid was looking everywhere for someone.
“Oh here you are, come look who’s here." Sid said looking under the dining table in the hall. I placed the glass on the table and went in to see who is Sara.
There she was!
A cute little girl with short black hair, her innocent eyes, that cute smile and the dimples on her face. There was something in her that attracted others.
She was eating mangoes. All her face, hands, and dress were full of mango pulp. She looked at Sid and smiled like a cat who drinks the milk hiding from its master. But her innocent face and smile made both of us laugh.
“Oh god, what have you done? You stained all your dress. Is this the way to have mangoes, come let's change"  Sid said.
“Who is this?” She asked him with a confused face, and stared at me.
I smiled and walked towards her and introduced myself.

"Hey, little princess my name is Ashna, your brothers friend."
She looked at me with a cute innocent blush and said
"Hello” and offered me a piece of mango.
I took it from her and tasted it.
"Wow. Yummy. Thank you my sweet little princess.” I said and gave a peck on her cute cheek.
“Ok now, Let's clean all this and then get to know each other.”  Sid said.
“Ok I will be back, till then you have these mangoes.”  Sara said with a sweet innocent tone and a cute smile.
"Oh, thank you so much."  I said.
They went to the washroom and Sid got her face and hands washed and he changed her pink top and white shorts, which was full of mango pulp.
I had one more piece of mango, and seriously it was the best of mangoes I ever had, and it was so tasty. I went to the sofa and took my juice from the table. Taking small sips, I started looking around the house. The showcases were full of trophy's with Sid's name on them. There were some of his old photos, which included ones from his school and with his parents, and yeah ofcource Sara's photo’s. On the wall there was huge photo of Sara well framed and laminated.

The photographer had amazingly captured her cute innocent face. There was something in her smile that attracted everyone and that picture was a clear evidence for it. The walls were filled with Sara's photographs.
On the wall beside the stairs, there was a picture of Sid and Sara. On which Sid was sitting in a lawn and Sara was hugging him from the back. Sid was ina light yellow shirt and white pants. Sara was on a light Blue dress, and they both seemed to be the happiest brother and sister.
"Hehe...hehe...” I heard Sara's giggles from the washroom.
Sid was trying to clean Sara and she was playing with water. Sid's dress was almost wet and was trying hard to resist Sara's attack which made me laugh.
He looked at me, with an angry for making fun on his helpless situation. He splashed some water on me and said
“Now you laugh. Stupid moron.”
“Ahhh.”I said.
Before I could speak another word, Sara splashed next set on me.
“Hehe...hehe…” she giggled.
I was wondering how happy she is? How happily she lives her life? How could she smile for the small things and bring happiness to others?
The very next moment I was completely wet and that was Sid who splashed a mug of water on me. For a moment I stood still, as I didn’t even had time to defend the unexpected attack and then I could feel the drops falling from my face and I looked at Sid with a “with a WTF dude" face!
I saw both of them having a "Hi-Fi" and laughed at me.  As I stepped in to the washroom both of them started attacking me like I wasa Pakistani terrorist who attacked India. I took the shower in my hand and sprayed it over Sid, and he was running and crying out inside the washroom as if I was going kill him. In fact he was little over acting. It was like Jerry's struggle when Tom trapped him. We both were so over acting it because we could see how much Sara enjoyed that show.
Then I told him.
"Andha bayam irikkatum (a film dialog )" and walked out of the washroom like a cool hero.
And then I looked at Sara, and she started splashing the water on me, because she knew she was my next target. I looked at Sara and laughed louder like a Ravan.
"Buha ha haaa..None can't stop me "
I went close to her and sprayed the shower over her body and she started to giggle.
After a long water fight, all were tired and so Sid called his servant and asked to bring towels. Not only Sara, but we two were also completely wet. I took a towel and rubbed it on her head and wiped the water from Sara's body and wrapped her with the towel.
“Hands up.” I commanded like a policeman.
She obeyed like a thief.
I laughed and wrapped the towel around her.
For us everything was like a game. For us everything was like a game. Her cute actions made me remember about the cartoons. I and Sid were enjoying our fairytale along with her. She made me realize why my problems were big. Because while I grew up, I forgot about the small things which could bring happiness. And I wanted to be like her and for a second I was. Each moment I spend with her, I felt like the Five year old me.
"Wow, I liked it. Did I look like Unniracha? The girl in the film we watched last day.” She asked Sid.
Sid corrected her. "Baby its Unni Aarcha."
We both started laughing on her innocent statement.
"Oh yeah, you always look pretty as my little princess " I said her and gave a kissed on her cheek.
"Oh yeah, except that hair. Princess with a short hair." Sid cracked a joke on Sara and started laughing at her.
“Ashna, you don't talk with him okay. He is too bad.” She said to me.
“Yes boss.” I said and we hit a HiFi in agreement.
I took her and went to her room dressed her up.

I asked her which dress she loved to wear and she said "Dora" and pointed her hand on the shelf. I dressed her up and was comping her hair, suddenly she hugged me and said "I really loved you Ashna, you are so nice."
"Ohh how sweet! Love you too my little princess." I said and kissed her forhead.
Sid stood at the door and was watching us , with a smile...

NG Relations

I never thought about my neighbors like this way before ! It was mid night 11:30 pm . I was busy studying for my MAT exam , The power gone so I was WhatsApping with my friends .. So sudden I heard some voice ,which was from my neighborhood. The aunty in the next door was screaming  on someone,her husband I guess !

Preety aunty nd Ani uncle.Their house is just in found of my house, They belong to a well-known Nair family . But now there is only 2 people. The younger son of that family and his wife . There were his mother but she went to her daughters place might be because she felt alone at the oldest because
Preety Aunty got job so when she leave for job she is alone ...

It's being a long talked with them , I don't know why ! I used to talk with Preety aunty when ever I meets her but I think she changed a lot .Preety cheachi that i knw was a young, ,smart,talkative person but now I could feel the old in her eyes as well as her face ! There marriage were before 11 yeas , that time I was studying in 2nd STD. I still remember how I used to act sick and after 9 I run to their house to watch TV , watch film ..whatever they are watching. Because that time we don't had TV so we used to go there to watch TV . My mom too, she used to join us after her work because my dad will come around 8pm so after finishing her work we used to watch TV . sometimes I even felt like they are my family except the granny , who something act so weird when I go there ! I wouldn't blame her , because if there TV work 24 hours there electricity bill gonna rise and they are the only one who need to pay it.

There 5 members, that granny , her younger son, the elder son , his wife and his son. And then Ani  uncle married preethy aunty and it become 6. After 2 more years the elder son ie, Vidya uncle and his family shifted from there to there own house ....

Ani uncle and prethy Aunty didn't had kids even after all this years . and years by years ani uncle turned like a lazy spoiled man .and now ! He rarely goes to work ! Because of that preethy aunty start going to work and that give him a reason to roam with friends and drunk day and night ...

I still don't know what's their problem! What happened between them ! It's not just about not having a baby.. It might be about the lack of love or may be something more.. But I wonder why I never bother about them before.. We were close ..our families were like one but somehow somewhere all changed .. I don't know why I never noticed them before, I never noticed their problems.. Is that the small wall which separate our plots or is that the big wall we created by time....

Ofline

Once so sudden she text him "Heyoo"

He felt like flying , lattus starts to crack inside his heart , he felt a cold in his stomach ..

He replied " hey" with a smile face but her text came before a hour an now she were of line. But he waiting.. Because he was excited to know the fact why she text him ....

BUT ...........

Online 1 hour ago

Online 2 hour ago

Online 3 hour ago

,

,

,

,

FB life

He was going though his Facebook , liking his friends post so sudden he got a request . it was none other , it was his Ex. The same girl with whom he fall true love for the first , his first love .. The same girl he lost forever because of his one dunked decision ... He accept the request and gone though her FB walls , seems like she never used that account after their breakup ! Last post were about 2014 ... Him mind was flattering with lots of questions and answers but he knew all the mistake was his and he don't even deserve to get forgive.. He opened her albums and make sure she is still single . still knowing it doesn't matter . He saw her family picture . Her mom , she was not less than a real mom for him. He used to share everything with her and she called him son but now he don't even know how she is doing,he regrets for his stupid decision of cutting all other relationship with her. Because he was guilt , he was aware about his mistake and so he choose the running option! Running from the problems instead of facing them . after their breakup he never text any of the relations he had with their relationship.. But now after 2 long years ... He wanted to text her but he don't.. He turned off his lap and start Reding a book ! But he couldn't concentrate on the book .. All his thoughts was "can I text her? " , is "she ever gonna forgive me" , is  "why she send me friend request ?" ... And his heart was saying the "YES" but brain put him in negativity...

After 1 he logged to FB , he saw her online .. He want to text her .. He wanted to tell her how much he miss her , he want apologize for what he did to her , he wanted to scream the fact she was his only love , he wanted ask about her mom , above all he wanted to know what she is doing in life .. Is she happy without his ??

"Hy" - he text her

But unfortunately just before 5 minutes she went offline ... His brain let the fortune to unfortunate by thinking 3hourse for typically "Hy"...

Will she ever reply him ????

She knows all ..

For the first time she hurt him the core without uttering a word but with a single picture .

Lazy peeps like

There were days where all I wanted was to be a writer , months before it was about being a photographer, years before it was about being a singer , years and years before it was about being a doctor and now ... Am still that same girl who sleep in day and think about getting a life in future ! How wired am  !

Sorry from my heart

Sometimes u meet peeps after a long time and you really wanted to talk with them , you really want to apologise for the things you did , how much u regret for the way you hurt them ....but mostly it ends with a 2 letter word "Hy" and 3 words line "How are you " .... Because the brain know how much we are realistic about our mistake and the heart know how desperately you need to apologise even its tooo too late !

My mistakes

At some point of life all our mistakes will start hitting us back ...  Some came like a big Strom but then goes like the day rain ... But some came like a lottery so unexpectedly happens but goes with taking our peace with .....

Our impossible love

Everyone got something to tell about love. My eyes says one , your eyes says one and this book also  says one....

His LOVe

He looked at me , with my side  i could see him .. But ignored ! And today I saw him with that same look and I think this time am gonna look back 💖

Easter

My favorite part in easter is resurrection of Jesus Christ , for me it was always a wonder.. During childhood I used to sleep in the whole mass nd just used to take up in 12Am when whole light in the church turn dim nd the fireworks starts to cracks,the heavy sounds,red lights,smoke's and by breaking the grave walls Jesus resurrect....Easter is always special much special for Christians, because deep inside it hurt that how can someone love and die for the sin of others ...

"Gagultha malayil ninnum vilapathin maattoli kelppoo,Eavamenne krooshilettuvan aparaadham
enthu njan cheythu"

that song , the long walks through the highway with lighted candles the way we got interacts with the peeps behind and infront of us,how we help others while the walk, how the candles keep dancing with the winds  , statue of the crucified Jesus, fireworks after the Easter mass ..... don't know would I experience the next Easter like this or not ... but all this memorys will be turn the part of my life ..

SOMETIMES

There is always sometimes came into our life ... Sometimes we smile , sometimes cry , sometimes we let others smile , sometimes we let others cry , sometimes we keep hiding but something we just explore ! But when is exactly the Sometimes is ? I don't know its just happen sometime ! Sometimes all these above somethings would be for that that someone, who we really give somemore importance than just the someone ! So never let your someone in a situation they need to hide something from you ! Always try to be happy with that something which can make you Happy for ever not just for a SomeTimes !!!

Colors of my life

Every time when I hear the word Teacher there is some faces which flashes through ma eye , Sunitha teacher who taught me to love everyone irrespective of there color and all that things , when I was in 5th I thought I am a color freak ! I thought am a bloody white because I got something special from the darks ! and the dark girls around me, they were just waste ! I still can't believe how stupid I was , to valuate peeps on the base of there skin but when she realised that I have probs with the dark peeps, she punished me ! for a weak or more I used to sit in the floor,and my batch mate's and friend used to make fun on me  ! That time I felt quiet embarrassed and angry on her. But now when I look back I realises that how crazy I was !!!

SR.Little Flower  , who was my inspiration, she taught me that without mistakes we can't write anything! The more you write the more you improve ! I don't know how many times I wrote the same speech, behalf of the Rabbit !! It was crazy ! I used to feel bad for ma language, since it was too weak but she really pushed me up ! She encourage me to write ! And told me to forget about the Grammar and Spellings , and I started writing and she used to correct them , I remember that in the beginning ma book were filled with red marks much than blue inks ! I might not scored A+ or something but for me that silly marks means a lot ! Not because i just passed ,it's because she taught me to believe in me !

Sr.RiYa , who teach me to enjoy my life ! She gived us complete freedom and that make us realise what are bad and what are good ! In our life we need to enjoy each moments like there is no tomorrow but when you live the moment you need to think about the peeps surrounding you ! Am really thankful to her that she gifted me a memorable schooling , seasons might be change but in ma whole life I never enjoyed as much I did when I was in 12 . Thankuu so much for taught me to Love Life


Rini miss , who is a perfect teacher , she realised our capabilities and took classes as per our comfort ness , I will never gonna forget your Notes , I think without that notes most of ma friend might didn't even pass !! But because of you we all passed in a good marks..


BEFORE I end ma list , I have to mention one more name Sophi Miss , the teacher "who hate me for no reasons and same feelings from my side too" . I think if she wasn't there then we would stood together with complete unity ! But unfortunately she was our class teacher for 2 long years ! ! The worst thing ever happened in my college was SHE ! But now am happy she has been fired from my college and we are blessed with the worlds most adorable class teacher ! Thank you Julie miss , but it unfortunately we have only few months as a class !


#Happy_Teachers_Day #Teach #Love #Second_Mother

Te Amoo Much Estupida

Love is a precious emotion thats why sometimes we become love with some people whom we might even didn't like much . sometimes we used to act like we love them but honestly most of the times we fails ! But when we try to hate anyone sometimes we used to attached with them like we love them , and in the end we really starts to do . But in some occasions we used to flirt or cheat someone but unintentionally we starts to fall for them ! But when we loose that love we become a patient! For love ! We might even starts to behave like a drug addict when he didn't get his stuff ! So don't hurt someone when you know that in the end you will be dying by seeing them hurt ! And it hurt much when you are the reason for it !

"Today when I see him in TV all came in ma mind is you ! I really miss you ! I don't know what was that magic between us which always bring us together, even after some big fights ! I never used to say sorry ! but when it comes to you , I never bother what ! You hold my hand even you were at miles far but i was always surrounded by you .  All I wanted was you , your smile , your texts ,Your Spiritualism believes, your prayers, your jealousy , my angry , your status, our fights and our Love ... But in the end whole that little things really used to make our day , it was "I Hate You Like I Love You " "

My college LIFE (Part 1)

Like many others I entered this place I really don't like this place much since I was deeply missing my friend and my girls only classes but here .. From the first I sensed a lot of changes which gonna be in my life .The first day was crazy. There were some boys in the both sides of front gate holing some posters,the hordings nd their white dresses make me realise they are the members of college parties..for me that was a new experience for a second I thought "woo college parties and all this gonna be fun" (the Malayalam film "Classmates" and that song relating to election passed through my head...Was so suspect and wondered about all these new atmosphere but was missing my girl gang and my schooling. So when ever I tryed to be happy that memories make me feel bad .

Days passed,I made a girl gang with some girls who got similar idiotic level as mine. Nine girls who I met in the second day of my college. Two of them were my classmates in 12th but wasn't close with them like now. For me Shamily was just one girl who make sketches like picaso and Sherins image  was that silent girl until she tryed to flirt with a guy we met in train while our school trip,the same guy whom I got crush nd was flirting but now we are like Sisters not just them with ma whole 9 girls ,they r my sister's from another mother.Sheenu,Sherin,kiran,Linu,Sinu,Shamily,Athira,Parwathy and me. Parwathy joined our gang recently before that we were 8 .

There are lots of wildest things we did together .Ragings ,Fights with seniors ,ego Clash's  Kiran's love affair and after effects of wrong love her dad's threatens about letting us in jail if we ever talked with that guy , sheenus runned away marriage nd problems, Shamily and her filmy love story,

"Vayichalum valarum vayichillenkilum valarum, vayichal vilayum, vayichillenkil valayum." - Kunjuni Mash

We might grown up eigther with or without knowledge. With knowledge you will reach higher with all the capabilities you have but with out knowledge you will only reach where is was and only there life will be ... I can say it ! When my teachers taught me this lines from the great poet "Kunjuni Mash " I really didn't know about the hidden secrets behind this 2 lines but now I do!
Now when I look back am really happy at the place where am now . "Now am not where I want to be but either am not at where I used to be "- JB.

He ... Is he the Best ?

There was a man , who worked so hard . Because of his dedicated work he become the most well known contractor in the city . He worked almost everyday , but he wasn't that rich . He were living a normal life with his wife and kids .When his friend who were a normal worker under him turned to a most well-known builder but he was still a small contractor but still He was so happy with his job and Family, but does his family ? ?

When his kids grown up they started hating him .Because insted of celbrating functions with them their father was busy with his job. He was running here to there for fixing the houses but even after years they were living the same life as before. They hated him for just being a dad who never had time for even a parents meeting at schools , they hated him when his friends celbrate holiday trips with their family , they hate him for his broken promises , they hated him for his reputaion and still living the same life...

All this happen because while he were busy with his works for the living of his family he forgot to love them . Infacat he loved his job and just lived a life with them... The number of gifts will never matter but love do ! Yeah !! Ofcouse you might love your kids and might even love them a lot , but whats the matter if you don't even have time to express it ! .Most of the time when kids grow up a gap between parents and kids starts to born ... And if you never put a move to know your kid , once they gonna hate you ! ! !